Where’s your focus?
It’s so easy to get hooked into focusing on things we can’t control. That’s the big drawback with most media, which is damn good at hooking attention.
Here’s the thing though. The more you focus on things you can’t control, the more you weaken your inherent power.
In the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey calls these the Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.
Your Circle of Concern is everything you’re concerned about. This could be your health, your family, your job, the national debt, what a celebrity is doing, what others think of you, etc.
With your Circle of Concern, some of these things will be outside of your direct control. For example, celebrity gossip or the national debt. That’s why it’s important to be aware of your Circle of Influence as well.
Your Circle of Influence is everything you can directly influence. This includes things like your health, mindset, thoughts, words, actions, your career choice, the way you do your work, your responses to people, etc.
If you want to be an effective and empowered person, it’s crucial to focus on your Circle of Influence. Why? Because it’s your lever to create change. It empowers you, and creates growth in all aspects of life. On the other hand, marinating on things you can’t influence makes you a victim and creates stagnation or regression in life.
The more you focus on things in your Circle of Concern that you can’t directly influence, the less effective you become. The more you focus on your Circle of Influence, the more effective you become. This creates a snowball effect of positive change, from the inside out, and actually expands your Circle of Influence.
Examples of How It Works
Think about an extreme example, someone who watches the news all day. They’re intaking fear, anxiety and countless mind control programs. This is toxic to the mind, body and soul.
By watching the news all day, they’re neglecting their own health, creativity, sense-making ability and capacity to help others. It’s a downward spiral too. The more they concern themselves with things they can’t control, the more powerless they become.
Remember that the things you can’t control aren’t limited to the news, politicians and celebrities. Here are some more examples: What other people think of you, other people’s actions, the past, traffic, waiting in line, how many likes you get on social media, etc. The more you keep your focus on any of those things, the more you drain your energy and disempower yourself.
On the other hand, think of someone who focuses on their Circle of Influence. This person lives from the inside out. They nurture their health, creativity and ability to help others (even in small ways). By taking care of their health, they’re more vibrant, which helps them be more creative, productive and inspire people just by their energy. By nurturing their creativity, they express and share their inherent gifts with the world. The same goes for their choice of words, how they respond to other people (instead of reacting), how they choose to invest their time, etc.
This all helps you grow as a person, and naturally leads to helping other people grow as well. The more you do this, the more you expand your capacity to create positive change. You become more vibrant, more creative, inspire more people, magnetize better career opportunities, and people start coming to you for advice and guidance. With this, your Circle of Influence grows and grows, without the need to fixate on the things outside of your control.
I’ve noticed this trend within myself and others so many times. The more I focus on the external world, other people or events, the more I feel my energy dissipating. The more I focus on myself, especially with the intention of being an embodiment of positive change, the more I build my energy and raise my vibration. This always leads to new doors opening that I couldn’t even see beforehand.
Focusing on things you can’t change creates a downward spiral. Focusing on your circle of influence creates an upward spiral. Which direction do you want to create momentum in?
The Inside Out Effect
“Inside-Out” means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self — with your paradigms, your character, and your motives” – Stephen Covey
True change happens from the inside out.
Trying to change other people or situations, without first changing ourselves is futile. At best, you get short-term results before falling back to status quo.
However, if you change yourself, you’ll find that other people and situations you find yourself in naturally change. Anyone who has kids knows this all too well. You can tell kids something, and give them 100 great reasons why, and they won’t listen. But if you embody it, and lead by example, they eventually come around.
It’s much easier to help people find peace when you’re living in peace. It’s much easier to make a situation more joyful when you’re living in joy. It’s much easier to have a loving relationship when you truly love yourself. It’s much easier to run a productive business when you’re productive yourself. See the theme?
I know, it seems so obvious when explained this way. But many people go straight into trying to change the external, and not themselves, which goes against how reality works.
Inside Out Reality
The inside out approach works so well because that’s how reality works.
The external world is the world of effects. Consciousness, which is metaphysical, is part of the causal realm of reality.
If you’re just focusing on the effects (that external Circle of Concern), you’re neglecting the causes, and your ability to function on the causal level. This is why things like self-awareness, mindfulness, intention, focus, goal setting and subconscious reprogramming are key components of anyone’s sustained personal and spiritual growth.
The classical model of physics is outdated. Reality isn’t a machine, and consciousness isn’t separate from it.
We live in a quantum Universe. Every atom is more than 99.9999999% empty space. Everything we see is actually energy, frequency and vibration. We just decode it into a physical reality in our brains.
And consciousness isn’t separate from reality, but an inherent part of it. It is our consciousness that decodes the energy, frequency and vibration into experience.
Believe it or not, our consciousness not only decodes reality, but affects reality as well. This has been shown with the Observer Effect, The Maharishi Effect, The Placebo Effect, Dr. Emoto’s water experiments, The Global Consciousness Project and a lot more.
This, and much of quantum mechanics, is science that hasn’t been accepted (or even grasped) by mainstream science, because it’s too big of a paradigm shift for many people to handle.
Nikola Tesla emphasized this by saying, “The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.”
My goal here is not to prove the quantum nature of reality to you. However, if you’re at least willing to consider the fact that your consciousness affects reality, you open up to become an empowered co-creator.
How To Implement This?
Ok, so what does this all mean? Let’s wrap this up for you.
Here are the big takeaways:
- Stop fixating on the media, news, social media, what other people think and other things you can’t directly influence.
- Notice where you’re being a victim – Where are you hung up on things you can’t change? Where are you complaining and blaming others for your problems? Get really honest with yourself.
- Take full responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, words and actions.
- Focus your energy on your own growth, with the intention of using it for the highest good of all.
Make healthy dietary choices, exercise and move your body, meditate and cultivate mindfulness, express your creativity, be aware of your limiting beliefs and stop feeding them, embrace your uniqueness, nurture your gifts, help people in any way you can, lead by example, walk in your truth without caring what other people think, etc.
Bring awareness to your focus. Put your attention on your intention. Choose to feed and grow your Circle of Influence.
When you focus on your Circle of Influence, your Circle of Influence expands. This is how real positive change happens, and it’s from the inside out.
With Infinite Love,
~ Stephen Parato
