Yesterday I spontaneously decided to do a mini rite of passage.
I was at the park with my wife.
After some insightful conversations, I took a short walk in the woods by myself to contemplate a bit.
When I almost got back, a clear message came to me, “You need more of this. How about walking home from here?”
The message had the kind of energy that you don’t doubt. I immediately felt like it was the best thing to do. So, on the spot, I committed myself to walking home, without over-thinking.
As I approached my wife, the phrase popped into my mind, “A mini rite of passage.”
“Nicole,” I said. “I’m gonna walk home. Here’s my phone and my wallet. It’s a rite of passage. I need to do this.”
Her eyes widened and she looked at me like I was crazy. “What? That’s too far… At least bring your phone… What if…”
“I will be home. Trust me,” I said with authority and held out my hand as an extension of my word.
After saying goodbye, I embarked on the 4+ mile walk home. No phone, no wallet, just myself and my thoughts.
Since we were on the far side of the park, I had to walk through the whole park first.
Did I have doubts? A little bit. But honestly, it wasn’t that big of a challenge, physically or mentally.
However, it was something I’d never done (especially without my phone).
Plus, the most important thing was to have a long time for my thoughts to unwind while my legs moved.
It was an enjoyable walk. I appreciated the flowers, trees and houses I passed. With each step, it seemed, I experienced deeper peace and heightened bliss.
By the time I got home, almost two hours later, I was blissed out. I felt that soul-level fulfillment that only comes after you walk outside for a long time (you know that feeling I’m talking about).
For the rest of the evening, I coasted on the energy from the walk. It was beautiful.
felt a strong sense of “leveling up”, which wouldn’t have happened if I just drove home like normal.
Now, I say all of that to say this…
The Importance Of Rites Of Passage
Rites of passage are missing in our society.
In many societies, rites of passage were used as an initiation: becoming an adult, joining an organization, proving proficiency with a certain skill, etc.
Rites of passage, especially the more difficult ones, have even become a thing of legend: killing a lion to become a man, doing a vision quest alone in the desert for weeks on end, etc.
A rite of passage comes with distinct benefits:
- It forces you to leave your comfort zone
- It catalyzes radical growth in a short period of time
- It builds character traits like responsibility, courage, commitment, strength, focus and more.
- It builds self-confidence
- It creates deeper self-awareness
Because there aren’t any real rites of passage in our modern society, many people are weak, immature, entitled, disempowered, indecisive, unfocused, prone to addiction, etc.
However, there’s a simple solution…
Mini rites of passage.
You don’t need to kill a lion, wander through the desert for 40 days, or even go on a fancy meditation retreat, to start reaping the benefits of a rite of passage.
You can do mini rites of passage on a regular basis.
And since we don’t have real societal rites of passage, we have the opportunity (or perhaps responsibility) to create our own.
What are the qualities of a mini rite of passage?
It could be anything that…
- Gets you out of your comfort zone (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually)
- Requires a commitment (you need to take a leap and follow through)
Again, these don’t have to be anything crazy. They just need to push you out of your comfort zone and build positive character traits.
Some examples of mini rites of passage:
- Walking home from somewhere (preferably 1-10 miles away)
- Walking in the rain (without an umbrella)
- Taking a cold shower or ice bath
- Waking up at 4AM and meditating for 2 hours straight
- Booking a hotel for a weekend to write the first draft of a book
- Doing a tough mudder or marathon type of event
- Doing a hike that challenges you
- Fixing a part of your house or car (especially if you aren’t very handy)
Get creative. There are an infinite number of possibilities.
Most rites of passage are solo. However, you can do rites of passage with a partner or groups as well. Again, get creative with these.
To really evolve on every level of being, do at least one mini rite of passage per week.
Imagine how much growth you’ll experience by doing this. It will develop your character like nothing else.
Remember, you don’t have to do anything too extreme or dangerous. As long as you’re pushing your comfort zone, committing, learning and growing from it, that’s what counts.
With all of that said, I invite you to create and commit to more mini rites of passage in your life.
Pay attention to those intuitive whispers you get that point you towards these helpful initiations. Then have the courage to commit and follow through.
You will be an upgraded version of yourself after each one.
Cheers to the best version of you.
~ Stephen Parato